why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
