found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
