his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
