It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize