But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
