I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
