Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
