Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Randomize
