hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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