Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
