The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
