Quick, to the slutcave!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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