Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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