If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
