One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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