I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
