So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
