I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
