lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
