i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
