Jerry, you need to find god
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Someone came in the potted fern
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
