Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
