her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize