She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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