there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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