so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
im six kinds of drunk right now
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
