Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
