Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
