my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
