she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
