its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
