Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
