I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
