I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize