ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize