we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize