I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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