first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
