We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
