Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
