White coat. Heels.
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize