There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
