so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize