Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
