Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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