Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
what the fuck happened to the tacos
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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