I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize