Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
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