We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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