my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We left the knife in your bed.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
