I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
