She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
you never un-have a 4some
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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