Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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