Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
