Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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