I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
