she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
