just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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