Are we in a gay sports bar?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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