My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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