What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Swine flu is the new snow day.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
