He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
There are leaves in my underwear?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
