Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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