I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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